I find the following a gorgeous and succinct description of the miracle and the agnst of personal transformation. It may speak to you as well… I highly recommend the book.
Excerpt from Mango Elephants in the Sun – S. Herrera
”The caterpillar becomes a glob of goo.
Not the sweet goo of cookie dough but the messy, sticky, smelly goo of an insect’s guts being torn apart by nature’s design.
I want wings and to fly, but I don’t want to suffer in the confining darkness of a cocoon and go through the process of becoming a butterfly. I want to skip a step and move my wings – or even crawl back into my caterpillar’s body.
Anything would be better than this.
In this in-between stage, I can no longer rush back to my old body in my former life. And I don’t yet know how to become a part of this village – the new life.
My skin has become the cocoon and my soul the caterpiller. I am metamorphosing; my entire molecular structure is melting down.
There is nothing I can do to speed up the process. I am stuck with this goo form I have become.
But somewhere within the goo is the coding of what is coming next.
So I wait for the place I can finally reach inside myself that I can call home….”